Falling In Love
Because last week was an intense week of healing I was relieved to find out that this week's topic was relationships. How hard can a week on relationships be?
We started the week with a little bit of review (for us DTS students)--Ron (the speaker, from Colombia, MO) drew some diagrams and talked about not putting up walls because it blocks others out, loving your neighbor and being interdependent with the Father, Son & Holy Spirit. Great things to take note of and a crucial foundation to any relationship, romantic or not. In conversation he asked me what I would like to know about relationships. I thought about it for a moment and decided it would be really nice to learn how to unconditionally love annoying people. Just bein' real. Ron planned to teach on just that the following day. He taught us to walk through life with a heart of peace, not judging others and not becoming focused on the hurt (annoyance) someone causes you. When you start magnifying this you become blinded and distracted from the race he said.
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?"
All of this was great stuff, but still light in comparison with last week. I spoke to soon, but before I can share what happened next I feel like I need to backtrack a little bit...
Earlier this year I went to an Encounter weekend which is essentially a weekend to learn about inner-healing. There I discovered an ungodly belief I carried. I found that somewhere in my life I decided to make a general belief about men, that they were destructive beings and not worth my trust. I believed that the only role men played in my life was to hurt, abandon or abuse. This was due to past Father figures, boyfriends and other authority figures. The Lord started healing my heart this year, he brought some amazing brothers into my life and started opening my eyes to the beauty of his sons. He opened my eyes and showed me that when I expect men to fail and believe that they are destructive I am calling God's sons less than who they are; for they are sons of the kingdom, full of worth and great inheritance!
Back to Wednesday, Ron gets in front of the class and shares a heart-breaking story about a young girls road to restoration after she had been attacked by a man. Ron told us that the Lord asked him in that situation to get on his face in front of this girl and speak the words of the Father: " This was not my will for you. Here I come humbly to you." Ron then stood in the gap and asked for forgiveness on behalf of her attacker.
By the end of the story I, along with most everyone, was tearing up and I wasn't prepared for what was coming next. Ron turns, addresses the girls in the room and begins to tell us that he wanted to stand in that gap for us, he wanted to apologize and ask for forgiveness in place of the men who had hurt us.
He came to each of us, got down on his knees, took all the weight of other men's wrong doings in our lives and asked for forgiveness.
Throughout this week I felt as though my heart might burst, it was actually painful. And although I did receive breakthrough it wasn't enough to feel a full release in my heart but in this moment my heart finally burst and sweet refreshing water was finally able to flow in. There is so much more building up to this moment but the rest is a little to personal to share on the world-wide web. I think the main "nugget" I walked away with was the realization when I hold onto the hurt and constantly protesting "but this person hurt me!" is an excuse to not fully forgive. And in my life it was making my heart ache and distracting me from the "race".
Later in the week he moved onto marriage and love. The teaching was a little more on the open dialogue side. He had a great answer to the question of whether or not God tells us who are future spouse is: he pointed out that God can't promise you something that requires someone else's free-will, which I thought was a brilliant point. God may on the other hand say "this would a good one." while nudging and winking at you. In sum according to Ron, every love story is going to be unique and different and that's the beauty of it. It's wise to make sure your mind, spirit and emotions are all balanced. And although God may not be clearly saying "this is the one" still be in counsel with Him. You and your love could completely feel as though you got a divine word that confirmed the love you had, it could be full of risk and movie-esque fate moments or it could be something easy flowing like a friendship into marriage. Whatever way, its beautiful.
"Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling... Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go... But, of course, ceasing to be "in love" need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from "being in love" — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God... "Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it." -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity.
what a healing, intense, lovely week.